Wala ako sa mood nung sat. Feel ko ang sumimangot. Siguro dahil sa antok o dahil may gustong kumawala sa akin, ewan ko. Nainis pa nga ako dahil may umupo sa silya ko at aksidenteng nabagsak niya ang gamit ko. Yan kasi nakikipagHARUTAN! Nagpanggap lang ako na hindi ko napansin pero sa loob ko nasaktan ako. Napakahalaga pa naman ng itachi-case ko na yun. Regalo sa akin ni Lord yun kasi napulot lang yung pambili nun, w/ Php1.00 change pa. Oo na, inaamin kong mas mahalaga ang tao kaysa sa gamit... pero sana naman matuto siyang ingatan ang gamit ng iba, respeto lang sana sa may-ari kung ayaw rin niyang gawin ng iba sa gamit niya ang ganun... OO na! Ganito ako ka-sensitive! Maging inconsiderate ka lang kahit minsan, feeling ko inaapi niyo na ako. Di ko lang pinapahalata dahil ako pa ang lalabas na masama. At patawarin sana ako ng Diyos... Aywanak*rzd*ap*acnge*nth... May halo yang pulitika, nepotism! Favoritism! ... I'm so stupid. I should have learned. I should haven't expected that much. Lagi naman ganun. Pinapaboran lagi ng iba ang may hitsura, sikat, malakas, at makapangyarihan. Kapag di ka kilala at wala kang koneksiyon at wala kang maipagmamalaki, sorry nalang dahil laos ka... It's funny how I relate and generalize small things to greater ones. But that's reality. Nothing can change it. That's why I long for the time when reality cannot anymore conquer me, for when it does I feel so little and unimportant. But I believe one way to knowledge and wisdom is to experience these. (Do you remember what Buddha did in order to discover the 4 noble truths?) It's like knowing first the problem before solving it. Yes, life's problems has its solutions, but it'll only take effect if we, EACH AND EVERYONE of us makes a change... I repeat EACH AND EVERYONE. But there is no end to suffering, coz we don't even wanna start the change. We tend to wait for others in order to follow. Sadly, those brave hearts who follow the right path are what the society consider as fools. But aren't those hypocrites fools themselves? Then... WE'RE ALL FOOLS (PERIOD)
Medyo nawala lang pagkabagot ko nung may nakita akong keychain na tulad nung sa akin. Nakasabit sa bag ng isang estudyante. Oh well...
Sabi ni Dra Bonzon palaos na yung medical transciptionist. Hay! Kung kelan pa naman ako gagraduate. Sabi niya sa America daw, nirerecord na lang daw ng mga doctors yung usapan nila at pagkatapos binibigay sa pasyente. I don't know anymore. I might prefer computer animation or something basta computer. As long as the lessons wont strain me. I'm just scared of unemployment here in the Philippines kaya I was hoping for a faster and easier way to make money. *sigh* Anyway baka mag-accelerate na ako sa ibang doctor dahil hindi na ako pedia. *sniff* Mamimiss ko si dra. Waaaah...
I guess tama lang na hindi ako masyado nagsaya nung araw na iyon. Lalo na dahil sa Wowowee tragedy that happened in the Ultra. Many people died because of the stampede. It was a horribly scary, pitiful and sorrowful event. What supposed to be an exciting celebration has turned out to be a disaster. People expected fortune but misfortune is what they sowed.
Sirach 11:11 There are those who exhaust themselves, tire themselves out and become anxious, yet in the end they are only the poorer.
People are becoming slaves for money even if it costs their lives. But for our poor brothers and sisters, it means survival. Because of our self-centered desires, people tend to become selfish. It's a shame that they acted like greedy carnivores craving, grabbing and groping for meat. They don't care anymore if one of them causes the other's death, but the consequence is that all ends in tragedy, loss and regret. This is a cruel reality. Reality cannot save us, but instead brings us straight to our doom.
Sirach 5:2 Do not let yourself be carried away by greed and violence; they would make you their slave.
Maybe that's why God revealed Himself in ways away from this materialistic and sinful world. Maybe that's why God doesn't comply with this inhumane realities and why His ways are contrary and ironic to our general human beliefs. Therefore we cannot rely solely to the rules of this world. That's why God made His laws to save us from this destructive forces, which the devil uses in order to spread suffering in this earth.
Nakakagalit rin, pero sinong dapat sisihin? Ang mga gwardiyang di naman makontrol ang dami ng tao, ABS-CBN na naghangad lang na makapagpasaya ng kapamilya, ang nagdisenyo ng Ultra, ang mga taong nagkakandarapa dahil sa pagnanais nilang makapasok sa building, gobyerno ba nagtaas ng EVAT, world market na pabago-bago presyo o mga sakim at corrupt sa mundo or whatever... whoever? Di ko alam! Wala rin namang aamin diba? Hahantong lang ang lahat sa sisihan! At saka sabi nga nila, wala ngang may gustong mangyari yun.
Pero mayaman man o mahirap, lahat ng tao may selfish desires! Mga sira nga tayo eh. Para rin nating sini-self destruct ang sarili natin dahil sa mga kalokohang ito nang hindi natin nararamdaman. We humans are so stupid, that's why we need God to pull us out of this stupidity! Think. If we had only followed the path to righteousness then we wouldn't be suffering the consquences of our own actions. Yet social sins are diseases that are hard to cure and mend. It could only be solved if each and eveyone cooperates, shares a part of himself for the community and overcome our greedy and selfish desires.
Then we owe to God the existence of good people. For without them, life will be more hopeless. They chose to follow the right path not only to achieve happiness and righteousness, but to help the victims of the evil and wicked society. They are His instruments of His unending love and proof of His existence. It is in us therefore if we choose whether to become the Victim or the Redeemer.
"And how can I pretend
that I don't know what's going on?
When every second and
every minute another soul is gone"
-Stand Up For Love, Destiny's Child
*****
It's a mystery how I feel at peace whenever I gaze at the heavens and feel the fresh wind blow across my face. I really love the sky. Just looking at it's beauty sets me free from all the anxieties, sorrows, anger, and fears of tomorrow. I wish I could stay like this forever. May be that's why I entitled my blog, "Underneath the Endless Dome." My body cannot reach up high as the clouds but my soul craves to reach for something more beyond. Something I cannot see with my naked eyes. It's as if a supernatural and powerful force draws me closer. God sees us from afar on his throne of universe, a forbidden dimension of space where no one has ever seen or succeeded to set foot on. His eyes are clearer than a microscope and powerful than an X-ray. His hands so powerful He can create disasters in a flick, or with just one touch he can create new offsprings. His Words so powerful, that with just a word He can create a change. HIs Mind so omnicient, He already knows what's in our heart and mind even we don't speak it out. HIs Spirit so great and swift that He can be in different places at the same time. His Heart so Kind and Loving that He still allows us sinful and weak creatures to live on earth, and waits for us patiently for us to respond to His call...
Wisdom 1:2 For he reveals Himself to those who do not challenge Him and is found by those who do not distrust Him.
Some say it is nature that created itself. But nature, cannot have life on its own. It is similar to a tool, that cannot exist without man creating it, and a machine that cannot operate without anybody handling and controlling it. But the universe is vast, and only an unseen Spirit can have the ability to rule it and that is God. Funny how we limit his appearance as an old man in the sky, a common image religion taught us. Childish, huh? But still, no one has seen His true form.
Only the Master of the universe, knows the past, the present and the future. We cannot comprehend His vast wisdom, for we are merely tiny specks of life in the universe. We could only speculate, predict and reason out. We only have the right to question Him if we are gods ourselves who have achieved perfection. But no one is, therefore we have not capable of overpowering Him. But still He can grant us a piece of Him if we accept him in our lives.
Sirach 17: 30 Man cannot have everything in his power since he is not immortal.
Sirach 18: 1-6 He who lives forever created all without exception. The Lord alone will be found righteous. He has made no one powerful enough to proclaim his words; who then, will reveal His marvels? Who can calculate the power of His majesty and relate his great goodness? Nothing can be added to him or taken away; no one can fathom the wonders of the lord.
Maybe it's just ironic. The more we are capable, the more tendency of forgetting God. That's why He still allows us to suffer, for us to search Him and be guided by Him. Reality can kill but His Truth saves.
*****
There are so many times God has interferred in my life I wished that I could have recorded all my events in the past. I guess that's why I created my blog. Not only to express myself, to release my emotions, to recall my memories, to understand myself, to realize how much I've changed, to uncover the meaning of life, to entertain, to share a piece of my mind, but most of all to discover how God has taken control in my life.
I believe that the song "You'll Be Safe Here by Rivermaya" contains His message for us to put our whole trust in Him. Ito ang pinagkunan ko noon ng lakas ng loob kaya naiiyak nga ako pag naaalala ko. *sniff*
...
Close your eyes
Dry your tears
'coz when nothing seems clear
You'll be safe here
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You'll be safe here
...
When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here
In my arms
Through the long cold night
Sleep tight
You'll be safe here
When no one understands
I'll believe
You'll be safe,
You'll be safe
You'll be safe here
Put your heart in my hands
You'll be safe here.
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