Bakit nga ba ganuon? Everytime I expect something or get excited about something I always get disappointed. Is this a prank played on me by life? Is this bad luck a part of me? Is this a reverse psychology that I have to learn how to handle? This is actually the reason why I couldn't teach others to "think positive." Because according to my experience it really doesn't work at all. Whenever I feel so confident about a coming situation, it turns out to be a complete dismay. Whenever I feel doubtful, it is when everything turns out right. This is the exact reason why I can't get rid of my pessimism. This is not a joke or a self-pity thing, and moreover this is not an emotional drama effect I invented, this is MY TRUTH! All my efforts for the preparations and plans are all in vain. But this won't stop me from dreaming, but I will only plan the backbone of it all, and never will I pay attention to its details. I don't wanna tire myself with things that I'm not even sure will ever happen and moreover I don't wanna get hurt again. Why worry? Nobody else takes life seriously, we don't even take each other seriously. I guess I just have to be a bit indifferent to deal with such situations. Yeah for so long, one of my philosophy is to expect the unexpected, to be always prepared to face even the negative situation for it will be much easier for you to accept whatever the outcome is and the less it's gonna hurt when everything fails. This is really annoying for me, but I guess I just have to adapt and accept my reality. There's no choice, I have to survive.
Song for today: Akala by Parokya ni Edgar
Anonymous prayer:
God, if I can't have what I want, let me want what I have.
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